Public Speaking Expert: My Secret To Making Small Talk ‘less Awkward,’ ‘more Meaningful’

Speech therapy can help with public speaking, speech and voice concerns, and even interviewing. Scandinavians don’t tend to appreciate small talk. Brazilians, however, are fond of speaking with strangers about all types of topics. It’s important to understand that while small talk serves a purpose, not all cultures engage in it. In some places, asking about a person’s occupation is a great way to start a simple chat.

Share Something About Yourself

Discussing upcoming events and fun social activities can be a good way to set the tone and direction of a conversation. These could be events related to your current setting, personal plans, or popular events. For instance, if you’re planning a trip, you could mention your upcoming travel plans or ask if they know of any good places to visit this time of year. If you’re one of the many people that goes to networking events to hear the talks, but avoids the schmoozing, then this guide will provide you with a step-by-step approach to help you. While it may seem like a trivial chore to some, it counterintuitively serves as a stepping stone to deeper, more meaningful connections and better conversations overall.

Do yourself a favor and accept that these pauses are natural and don’t mean anything about your personality, your choice in topics, or whether someone likes you. When you accept this truth, small talk becomes a little more tolerable because you don’t have the pressure to keep the conversation going at full speed. So pay attention to what’s going on in your environment, Abrahams suggests. (What’s the crowd like? What are they wearing? How does the food look or taste?) Then put it to use! Chitchat is way more engaging when you’ve found real, natural things to discuss versus sticking with a bunch of rehearsed clichés that make everyone roll their eyes. In addition, sharing personal stories can help build rapport and deepen connections during small talk, going beyond the shallow topics that some people dislike.

“If you don’t know anyone, it’s best to use the information around you, start with the event. It needs practice, a positive attitude, and being open to new experiences. By embracing a growth mindset, starting conversations, listening well, and picking interesting topics, you can become more confident and skilled in talking.

Being funny can be a great way to break the ice and make small talk more enjoyable. You could make a light-hearted comment or joke about your surroundings, the situation, or even the weather. Just make sure your humor is appropriate for the situation and won’t offend the other person. Here are some tips to help you navigate casual conversations, without the awkwardness. Instead, allow yourself a moment to process what’s been said and craft a thoughtful reply. A brief pause actually shows that you’re engaged and considering the conversation carefully, rather than simply waiting for your turn to speak.

Pay attention to any negative judgments that you have about small talk and practice reframing your perspective before you engage with others. Next time you have to mingle, see how this reframe helps you feel more chill, excited, or optimistic about the interaction and the potential outcomes. Open-ended questions keep conversations going and let others share more.

• When making small talk, ensure your body language is open and approachable.
• Listen to talk-show hosts and emulate how they keep conversations flowing.
• Try to remember the kinds of questions they ask, how they follow up on the other person’s answers, and even how they make use of silence.
• When people feel truly listened to, they open up more easily.

Above all, do your best to listen with interest and respond with honesty. AI can’t replace the soft skills needed for success at work. Speech therapy can help you develop the top soft skills employers want. Lifehacker has been a go-to source of tech help and life advice since 2005.

So an actor might say something in one way very passionately, or they might say it in another way, being more curious. So I’d like people to reframe a mistake as a missed take. What you did wasn’t wrong, there might be another way to do it and we can try it again. Our therapy model is centered on parent and caregiver involvement.

Yeah, that was rude as hell of them and likely didn’t help build a solid rapport at all. That’s what you’re definitely not going to do because nothing tanks a conversation or relationship like the feeling of being dismissed or discarded. Did you know 76% of people love watching Netflix? Or that 55% have a favorite childhood memory with their parents?

Instead, ask open-ended questions that elicit a longer response and encourage the other person to keep talking. Think Fast, Talk Smart is a podcast produced by Stanford Graduate School of Business. Each episode provides concrete, easy-to-implement tools and techniques to help you hone and enhance your communication skills. Concerned your child isn’t reaching age-expected milestones? Looking for communication support from a professional?

Open Questions

Use questions starting with “how,” “what,” or “why” instead of simple “yes” or “no” questions. This helps the other person share more, which you can then use to encourage elaboration and build rapport. However, you should avoid viewing chitchat as solely transactional. Research shows people enjoy and appreciate talking with strangers or acquaintances, and these brief interactions contribute to well-being. As people engage in these chats with greater frequency, the more confident they are in their abilities to talk to strangers, according to the study. “That’s enough to allow you to be in the moment more instead of in panic mode,” Sandstrom says.

Show genuine interest in what the other person is saying, respond thoughtfully, and be yourself. Remember, the goal of small talk is not just to fill the silence but to also find common ground. One of the easiest ways to start a conversation is by asking a question.

Making small talk is the art of engaging in light conversation. It’s an important social skill that usually includes casual banter and pleasantries that don’t delve into any significant issues or emotional topics. “You are totally not alone in feeling awkward or shy,” Tammy Tangerine writes on Reddit. “Other people are struggling with that as well, and these feelings are totally ok and nothing to feel ashamed about.” Comment on the place or event, or find something you both like. When you’re in small talk, pick topics that are light and positive.

Most of us listen just enough to get the gist of what somebody’s saying, and then we immediately start judging, rehearsing and responding. When I paraphrase, I have to listen super intently. I have to listen to understand what’s the bottom line of what you’re saying.

“The worst time to think of something to talk about is when there is nothing to talk about,” says Fine. Don’t get unnerved by natural lulls and pauses in conversations. This Wingtalks review can be excruciating, but silences allow you and the other person to reflect on what’s been said. Refrain from filling gaps in conversation with nervous rambling.

Wondermind does not provide medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Any information published on this website or by this brand is not intended as a replacement for medical advice. Always consult a qualified health or mental health professional with any questions or concerns about your mental health.